The 50 things I’ve learnt at 50


I know I’ve mentioned this before, but you don’t get to fifty for free.

At some time or other, and usually a hell of a lot more than once, you’re going to have to pay.

getting to 50 leaves the odd scar

Call it what you want, experience, wisdom, pragmatism, it doesn’t really matter because whatever you call it, it’s going to leave you with a few scars. Scars from f*****g things up, from making bad decisions or from having shit things just happen for no apparent reason. Because as much as we want it to be, life isn’t always kind and flowers don’t always bloom. It’s just the way things are.

But you know this. Which is why this list lays life a little more bare than most. Of course, there are some pearls of wisdom and maybe the odd little bit of tongue in cheek humour, though essentially it is very much devoid of catchy motivational slogans and feel good sayings.

Trust me, it is not as harsh as it could be. The vocation I chose gives one a peculiar and not always empathetic view of how the world we live in can be. But if you’ve read this far, I’m sure you can take another minute to run through the list, even if it’s just out of curiosity.

If you want to disagree with some things, please do. If you want to add some ideas of your own, please do as well. The comment box is for you and this is definitely not a one way street. Enjoy. (Oh, it’s actually 53 things, seeing I’ll be 53 in a month or so)

the 50 things i’ve learnt at 50

  1. Ego is highly over-rated
  2. You are probably not perfect
  3. People tell lies….
  4. …and sometimes we believe them
  5. You are not always right
  6. Humility is not a weakness
  7. Everyone makes mistakes and some mistakes are made more than once
  8. People get sick
  9. Marriages end
  10. Children grow up and not always how we want them to
  11. Mental health is an issue
  12. Not everyone will agree with you
  13. Taking responsibility is a dying art
  14. Blaming others isn’t
  15. You will learn more by listening
  16. Giving birth is probably painful
  17. Hormones are real
  18. 20 year old women DO NOT find me sexually attractive…
  19. …but I still want them to
  20. Trust is earned
  21. So is respect
  22. You probably won’t die in your sleep
  23. Being alone and loneliness are two different things
  24. There is NOT a reason for everything because….
  25. …Sometimes things just happen and there’s nothing you can do about it
  26. It is not always someone else’s fault
  27. Minimalism and recycling are not new concepts
  28. It is what you do…..not what you say you will do that people notice
  29. You can’t force anyone to love you
  30. All work is honourable
  31. Everyone is scared of something
  32. You will not always be happy
  33. But neither will you always be sad
  34. People will try and take advantage of you
  35. You do not know what will happen tomorrow
  36. Jealousy really is a wasted emotion
  37. There are people far worse off than you
  38. Your satisfaction with your life depends entirely on you
  39. You can learn anything
  40. Of course you need money….but you don’t have to be a greedy prick
  41. You do not need to know everything
  42. We live in a violent world
  43. People can be absolute c***s
  44. However people can also be forgiving and wonderfully compassionate
  45. Bad things don’t just happen to others
  46. Sometimes you just won’t feel like having sex
  47. Children watch everything you do
  48. Communication solves some issues….good communication solves more
  49. The world will not come to an end because one person leaves you
  50. We are not here for a ‘reason’….we are here because two people had sex
  51. A man will say blue….a woman will say Zaffre (which is also blue, just a stupid kind)
  52. Grande chai tea latte, 3 pump, skim milk, lite water, no foam, extra hot is a drink…..for wankers
  53. Black coffee is also a drink…for men



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